We’re All Gonna Die… Choose Your Demise

Thanks to my beloved readers I am able to deal with the pain of not investing in LinkedIn because I was reminded that we’re all gonna die very soon. So instead of jumping out the window I’ll let fate have its way with me. Two highly reputable sources have hypotheses about our demise. You’ll be happy to know that we’re going out in Hollywood fashion.

Judgement Day 1: May 21st, 2011
Oakland preacher, Harold Camping spent his life savings telling everyone about the impending apocalypse. He is convinced that an enormous earthquake is going to start in New Zealand and spread across the planet. His source for these facts? The Bible of course. If you paid attention in Bible study you will recall the Great Flood, which occurred on the 17th day of the second month of the Biblical year in 4990 B.C. God gave Noah seven days head up to build his Ark. Camping references 2 Peter 3:8, “With the Lord a day is like a thousand years and a thousand years a day”. So, 4990+2011=7001 BUT you need to subtract one since there was no year zero in the calendar. Boom! The rapture is upon us.

Judgement Day 2: ZOMBIES!
Help us Woody Harrelson! The Center for Disease Control and Prevention believes zombie infestation is imminent and they have posted a survival guide for being overrun by the undead. Luckily I always remember to double tap. (Ok so it was a clever way for them to educate people in preparing for a natural disaster, but it’s as believable as Camping’s idea.)

Hands down I’m choosing a zombiepocalypse over The Rapture. Going down with guns a blazin sounds a lot cooler than being crushed by the roof of my house.

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Posted on May 19, 2011, in News. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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