In a shocker of great world significance, Donald Trump announced today that he would in fact not be running for the position of President of the United States of America.
Now I know what you’re thinking, “What’s he thinking? This guy was a shoe-in really.” Well, apparently, despite numerous appearances that proved he was under-qualified politically (and intellectually) to handle the position of president, as well as extensive jokes showcasing his adept lack of research as to what the president actually does on a day-to-day basis, Trump’s decision to step down was because of his business.
All joking aside, Trump admitted that “business is my greatest passion and I am not ready to leave the private sector,” and thank goodness for that. Let’s face it, Trump was a joke of a running choice, even for the most fiscally minded conservative voters. The man hasn’t proven anything to me, and shouldn’t have been taken attention away from the real candidates this entire time. So now, thankfully, I can get back to waiting until the Republican party chooses between another old white man and Sarah Palin, and ultimately watching them lose to Obama yet again. The suspense is just riveting…