Goddess Bree Olson Grounded

Instead of saying “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree,” apparently we should be saying that the “goddess” doesn’t fall far from…well, whatever Charlie Sheen is calling himself today.

Recently, Rachel Oberlin, a former porn star under the current employ as a Charlie Sheen “goddess,” was convicted of a drunken driving charge in her hometown of Fort Wayne, Indiana. Ignoring the fact that she’s just another pretty Midwestern girl doing rash things in Hollywood, how hilarious is this?

I had always thought that the goddesses were supposed to be influencing Sheen’s creativity, but apparently the real influence is Sheen on these girls. In fact, I’m thinking there should be a “Sheen Effect” waiver in place soon, where instances like this are just blamed on all of the publicity stirred up recently by Sheen.

Ultimately, though, there are no excuses for the girl who now goes by the name “Bree Olson”. She’s simply not holding her own as a Sheen “goddess.” Apparently she’s neither blessed with Adonis DNA, nor is she drinking the Tiger Blood. She better step it up here or Sheen’s going to be looking for a new goddess who can handle an F-18, bro. After all, a DUI would barely register on the Charlie Sheen scale these days.


Posted on May 5, 2011, in Sports. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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