Man Demands Share of Osama Bounty

Remember this nutbag? That’s Gary Faulkner. He’s the guy that got arrested in Pakistan last year and when he was detained he was found to have a samurai sword, a pistol, night vision goggles, and a map. What did he need all that battle gear for? He was on a self funded hunt for Osama Bin Laden.

Now that Bin Laden was double tapped to the dome, Faulkner is back in the news and he wants his share of the $27 million dollar bounty that was on Osama’s head. “Getting him out of the mountains and down to the valleys… Someone had to get him out of there. That’s where I came in,” Faulkner claims, “I scared the squirrel out of his hole, he popped his head up and he got capped.”

You know, I completely agree with my boy Gary here. He spent all of his hard earned money on this expedition. It’s obvious that Osama left the caves because he heard rumors that an American wielding a katana was looking for him. I think we should reward him with a plane ride to an all inclusive resort that features padded walls and straitjackets.

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Posted on May 4, 2011, in News. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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