>This Just In: Yet Another Study Shows Us What We Already Know
That’s right, a new study, which chronicled 13,900 college freshmen across 167 colleges in America, including some unnamed Ivy League schools, shows us that kids who drink more alcohol in college tend to do worse than their non-drinking counterparts. Shocked? Awed? Mesmerized? Or just overwhelmed by common sense?
I’m thinking the latter on this one, especially since the study’s greatest finding was that students who drink, but are also involved with a campus activity, like volunteering or student government tend to have higher GPAs. I almost don’t know how to break it to you, Todd Wyatt (the doctoral, yes PhD, student behind the less-than-revolutionary study): Duh.
Let’s face it, anyone who’s been to college, or seen Animal House, or even opened a beer in the last year knows that the more you drink the harder it is to focus on any activities. It’s been awhile here, but isn’t there some kind of label that says that on the cans? You know, the one that warns about not operating heavy machinery, or driving after drinking? Do we really need to have a new one designed for college campuses?
“WARNING: Drinking this alcoholic beverage will drastically impair your ability to study on a Saturday night.”
Seems ridiculous but then again so is a federally funded doctoral study that shows what any person can find out after an hour on Facebook.